Today’s episode is the very first Q & A session where I answer your questions on Ayurveda, motherhood and minimalism.

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Here are the resources for the things I mention in this episode.

Coffee Alternatives

Chicory root coffee

Dandy Blend

Matcha

Full fat coconut milk

CCF Tea

RIE Philosophy

Janet Lansbury: Elevating Childcare

Baby Knows Best

Minimalism

Simple Families

Allie Casazza

Raising Simple

Be More with Less

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Welcome to the Simple Ayurveda podcast. I’m Angela Perger, and this is a place where we discuss how ancient wisdom can be applied to your everyday life, so that you can be your happiest, healthiest self. 

Thank you for tuning in to Episode 4. Today will be a Q&A session with questions that I received on Instagram. I would love to do this once a month, so please send me your questions either through Instagram, email them to me angela@simpleayurveda.com or on Facebook, there is a public page, Simple Ayurveda, or a private FB group where we chat about all of this kind of stuff. 

So the first question comes from Tara @littlepinelearners and she asked: “What’s your favorite fall seasonal drinks? I’m trying to ditch coffee.” And that’s great, because coffee aggravates vata dosha, it also aggravates pitta dosha. So if you are a kapha type then one cup of a caffeinated beverage per day in moderation may be ok for you. But otherwise, Ayurveda would recommend that you reduce or eliminate caffeine. I myself have been on this roller coaster of an on again off again relationship with caffeine for the past 18 years and I am finally free from it. Some of the drinks that helped me to give up my beloved coffee were chicory root coffee. So chicory root to me tastes sort of like coffee, and it’s plant based. I used half chicory root and half coffee for awhile, and then I just reduced that less and less and less until I was down to just the chicory root coffee. So it tastes a lot like regular coffee, and you can put the normal stuff that you would put in regular coffee like coconut milk, or cream. And then another similar to coffee drink is dandelion root tea. There’s a type called “Dandy Blend” and both of these beverages look a lot like coffee, so they look like the grounds of coffee. I think they smell good too. And it’s another one that you could use part coffee and part dandy blend until you are ready to completely reduce the coffee. In the mean time I also like to add, when I was doing coffee, half coffee half tea, I added a star anise and a cardamom pod to my coffee maker. So I have the ninja coffee maker and I make my own cup separate from my husband because he likes a big pot of Folgers and I like richer, darker blends, so I just make my own cup separately. And I started adding the spices, the anise and the cardamom pod, because they are alkaline and they help to balance some of the acidity in coffee. So those are some of my favorite coffee replacements. From there I went to matcha green tea for awhile, the reason that I really liked the matcha green tea is because when I would blend it with some coconut milk it had that same creaminess that coffee has, like a latte. And I usually put honey or maple syrup in that. If you are more prone to coldness, like you are a vata or a kapha type, then you could add honey. And if you are overheating or you are drinking this in the summer then maple syrup is said to be cooling in Ayurveda. So that’s it for the creamier coffee-like drinks, oh other than chai tea. Of course you can make a decaf chai tea with decaf black tea and all of the yummy spices like the cardamom pods, and anise, and the cinnamon stick. Or you could just leave out the tea and make a spicy blend. And I’m going to put links to this in the show notes on simpleayurveda.com Episode 4 for where you can find chicory root or Dandy Blend or the spices. Some of my other favorite teas are CCF tea, this is recommended in Ayurveda to aid with digestion so you can drink it before  meal, with the meal, after a meal, anytime really. And it’s cumin, coriander and fennel tea. And I basically just throw those spices in a jar and keep them in my cabinet, and then boil some water and through some spices in and strain them out. I don’t measure, I just put maybe a spoonful per cup of tea. My kids also like the CCF tea. A simple tea that my husband likes is ginger honey tea. So he just chops up ginger, puts honey and hot water and drinks it. And that’s also a little bit warming, so it’s nice if you are in cold weather or vata season where you’re at. And that can be also drank at any time. My favorite warm weather drink comes from Kate O’Donnell, Everyday Ayurveda, and she makes a limeade with fresh lime juice, a pinch of cardamom powder and coconut sugar in water and it is absolutely delicious and I think I got all of my friends hooked on it this summer. So, chicory root coffee, dandy blend to help wean off that coffee, half coffee half of those, matcha green tea with maple syrup or honey and coconut milk is my favorite, the CCF tea, cumin, coriander and fennel, decaffeinated chai tea, a ginger honey tea, or a limeade with cardamom coconut sugar. Those are my favorites. 

This next question I have comes from Instagram from @kapha_ayurveda and she asks: “your technique for honoring your children’s feelings while still helping them speak in a respectful tone when necessary, like what do you do when they get sassy?” And I love this question. Because my five year old, I like to use the word “high-spirited”, he’s very high-spirited, he has strong opinions. And so does my two year old, she’s learning how to talk and she has very strong opinions also. And Yoga helps me, so just being a practitioner of Yoga and learning to observe my own feelings and emotions, and not respond as much to my own stuff, I feel like just goes right into how I choose to parent that I don’t have to respond to everything. And, when they do get sassy, looking for the underlying reason like what’s under, because they basically don’t have the skills to communicate what they want to say or what they want to do, and that’s why they are having a fit or being rude, they don’t have the skill set to state calmly what it is. And so the biggest thing that really changed the way that I look at parenting and how I respond to their behavior came from some books that I read when Max was a baby five years ago. It’s called the “RIE Philosophy” and it stands for resources for infant educators. And Magda Gerber is the person that brought it mainstream to the U.S. but Janet Lansbury has a blog called Elevating Child Care, she also has a podcast and a book. And I’ll put all of this in the show notes if you want to look further into it. But what I got from it, the whole idea is that you are just observing your children and it starts from infancy. Observing what they do, and then using calm, cool, collected language to describe what they’re doing without giving it too much emotion. So, for example, if my son says “that’s gross I don’t wanna eat that” and hides under the table, I might just say something like “it sounds like you don’t like what’s on your plate, you’re not a big fan of what we’re having for dinner” and I’m really just going to ignore the fact that he’s under the table. And so this might not be for you, this might not be for everybody but this is what works for me personally. I just state what it is as neutrally as I can without responding. And oftentimes this sort of solves the problem. It’s like they want to be heard but they don’t know how to communicate what it is that they want. So they do it in a way that’s going to get our attention, that can seem pretty obnoxious or annoying. If they’re fighting I’ll just say something like “you both want that toy” and Janet Lansbury of Elevating Child Care blog, and she has a facebook group and podcast and she really describes different scenarios of things that kids might do where you can choose not to engage with them, like not argue with them and just sort of stand back and observe and use the language and give them the tools to describe what they’re doing. So that’s really shifted how I personally view parenting and how I respond to the way that they behave. Now, if I need them to do something and I have to take it a little farther, then just describing what their actions are, I try to offer a choice and I also, I still kind of ignore the rudeness. So if it’s time for me to get them to school I’ll say something like, “your shoes are by the front door, would you like me to help you put them on or are you going to put them on by yourself?” So he might say, “well I wanna play” and then I would say, “I hear you, you want to play” and then he would say something like, “I never get to play legos, I wanna play now” and then I would just say, “you wish you had more time to play legos” maybe I would help him problem solve a little more and just say something like, “maybe tomorrow we can get up a little bit earlier” or, “let’s lay after school today” but I sort of just ignore the fit part. Another book on the topic is “Baby Knows Best” by Deborah Carlisle Solomon, and I’ll also put that in the show notes. I just happen to have access to this one because it was at my local public library so I read it and it also gave examples. And this is really a baby philosophy I think, like a young childhood philosophy, but for me it just shifted the way that I saw my kids and the way that I responded to them, and therefore the philosophy has stuck with me. Now if they are flat out saying something rude, like, “get me a drink” I usually just respond with a smile and say something like, “do you mean Mom I would like a drink please?” and then they smile and laugh and I say that I’ll say, “well do you want to say that now?” and then they say it and we move on. So, just trying to use the things that I practice in Yoga on myself, and infusing that into my relationship with the kids. And of course I’m not perfect, it doesn’t always happen and I definitely lose my temper. And when I do I try to apologize and say something like, “I’m really sorry for the way that I reacted, I wish I hadn’t yelled at you, can we forgive each other now” or something like that. And what’s been amazing is that my son who’s five has started apologizing after his fits. He’ll come down and say “I’m sorry for the way I was acting, let’s forgive each other.” So that makes my heart happy, when he does that. That it’s ok to make a mistake or not do the right thing, and to realize it and to correct it for yourself.

The next question comes from Jessica @collectmakeexplore and she writes: “How do you define minimalism as a mother, because I”m sure it looks different as a family than coming from the perspective of a single person who may not have to take two little hurricanes into consideration. I love the concept but I’m having trouble putting it into practice as much as I’d like with my family and would love to hear your thoughts.” Well, first of all I’m sure you’re doing a wonderful job, and the way that I view minimalism is just that I want to make a priority of things that I think are important to me. So in one of the yoga teacher trainings that I took, we had to do some self-inquiry around this idea of core values. And basically we had a long list of things that people might find important and we crossed off and crossed off until we got down to the core things that are most important to you. And I wrote them down in my planner, and I reevaluate every year around New Years to see if I still believe those things are important, and right now my list is: ease, love, joy, light, rhythm and simplicity. So for me, I think of minimalism as really honing in on those core values or those priorities and then letting everything else take a back seat. And I also personally, so when it comes to something like for example ease, to me an easeful day is not picking up a bunch of junk. I get really stressed out by clutter everywhere. So, I choose to have less “stuff” than I used to think that I needed. And we moved in January and we packed up all the kids toys and everything and I kept out only a few things, like legos and ___ are our favorites and some dolls and dress up clothes and the rest are in boxes and they’re still in our basement and I’m recording this in October and to be honest I don’t want to unpack them, like I just want to take those boxes and donate them because all of the games, having a two year old and a five year old and me wanting things to be orderly, just the boxes of games when they rip the lids off and throw the pieces all over the place, and then the game never has the pieces again because they’re mixed in with the other toys and it drives me crazy, and I’ve just decided to eliminate them. We can go to the library and do puzzles, or they can do them in preschool or kindergarten, we don’t have to have them here because it doesn’t make me happy. And that’s just one small way that I’ve incorporated minimalism into our daily life. Another way is personally getting rid of my own clutter, like having a simple wardrobe. I pretty much wear a uniform so that I don’t look through a lot of stuff every morning when I’m getting dressed. So getting honest about the things in my home, whether I’m going to use them or whether they’re aspirational. And as I say this right now I do have two blazers in the back of my closet from my days of job interviewing and working in a school setting, and I don’t plan to go back to that type of job so I could probably get rid of the blazers I ‘m holding on to those out of fear that I might need them but I really don’t see a situation where I would need a blazer anytime soon so that can go. When it comes to the shared living spaces and minimalism, first of all by reducing the amount of items that I have to keep track of, by designating an area where I toss their stuff, all of that helps but of course the mess builds up and I just have to dedicate time to stay on top of it, but to me it’s worth it because I don’t want to see the pile of papers in the kitchen or the phone charger. And another aspect of minimalism that’s become really important to me is my connection to nature, and this also goes into me not liking to have to take care of or keep track of a lot of stuff, so we moved to the beach recently and we live a block and a half away and we go often, four or five days a week in the afternoon or evening. We never take anything with us. I don’t even bring towels, we just walk there in our bathing suits with a coverup. I have a backpack with water in it, and because we go in the afternoon or in the evening, I’ll put sunscreen on us before we leave but I don’t need to bring it to reapply or anything. And we bring nothing. We play with seaweed and shells, so we make up games, we’ll take the seaweed and make a circle and we’ll toss a shell in it. Sort of like a fair or a boardwalk game. We play sea monster where we chase each other, we swim, we jump in the waves, we build sandcastles or sand people, we use the sand to make objects and guess, sort of like I guess a version of charades, so I’ll make a sea turtle and they have to guess what it is. And we’re just creative and fun and in nature and I don’t want to keep track of toys, I don’t want to lose them, I don’t want them fighting over them, it really just simplifies life. And they’re used to it. We don’t bring stuff when we go places. Same goes for the park. I prefer the park over the playground. I will take them to the playground because it’s right down the street and it’s easy. But if we have a chunk of time I would prefer to go to the park in nature and then we also don’t bring anything and we walk back into the woods, they climb on tree stumps, they balance, they chase each other, I chase them. They make up stories, and it’s just really simple. I’ve sort of given up on creating activities for them or thinking that I need to teach them anything, and just practice presence and enjoying nature. And that’s what minimalism looks like to me. So it is having less stuff, it is simplifying, clearing out clutter, spending time in nature, it’s also simplifying our food. I just cook really simple meals right now and that’s because of the age and that I don’t have a lot of time in the kitchen. I do like making more complex things that are fun to eat, but right now it’s not the time in my life to focus on that. Some of my favorite resources for minimalism and motherhood are, my very favorite resource is Simple Families with Denaye Barahona, she has a podcast that is so amazing, she has a blog, she has online courses, I’ll put her in the show notes too. I like Allie Casazza she also has a podcast and a blog, and classes online. Raising Simple and Be More With Less. Those are all minimalist bloggers that are a great resource and I’ll share those.

And that’s it for today, if you have questions about Ayurveda, minimalism, motherhood, Yoga, these are all the things that I love to talk about, so send them to me in the FB group, on Instagram or to my email angela@simpleayurveda.com and I would love to hear from you. Thank you so much for listening. 

You can find out more at simpleayurveda.com. All of the social media will be listed in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here. Namaste.